office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
