He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize