what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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