I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
a search helicopter?!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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