Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
