I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
