The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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