So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize