I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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