I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
