the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
