with your own penis?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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