I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
