Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Randomize
