Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize