Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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