If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
