But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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