Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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