First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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