I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Actions speak louder than pants.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
