We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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