I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
