Just mADE A PArabola og urine
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
