when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
