North Korea, Best Korea!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
