It's Friday. Sex?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize