when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
