does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
