But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize