She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
