epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
