I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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