it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
