Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
