it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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