hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
