I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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