you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I CAN MOONWALK!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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