So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
