Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize