My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
