all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
