This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
