If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
