the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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