she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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