I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Drunk is not a location!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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