either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
