so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
