She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
