I'm really into asian looking animals
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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