This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
