Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
