So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
