also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize