yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
