I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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