I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
