I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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