Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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