In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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