I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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