At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
40s are totally the cure
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
