your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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