:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
