dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
