Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If I die, sorry about rent.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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