You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
