So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
