Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize