I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
