I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
