you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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