You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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