I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just high enough for therapy.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize