Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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